


Couples Therapy

by linvro21



Series: Couples Therapy [1]
Category: Chuck (TV), House M.D., Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, F/M, Gen, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-18 03:59:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/875373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linvro21/pseuds/linvro21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Charlie go undercover at a couples retreat. The therapist wonders why they feel the need to keep reminding everyone they're a heterosexual couple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Couples Therapy

I began my couples session today as I started any session in any other week.

“Let's start with a quick round of getting to know each other. Please introduce yourself with your name and nickname. I find they say a lot about yourself and your relationship. I'll start. My name's Lin, that's short for Linda. No difficulties in guessing why; I'd like to be a bit shorter, so I started with my name.”

I knew the joke was not that funny, but it sets a low bar and it usually seems to calm most couples' nerves.

I looked around my group for the week: three couples were sitting on the three couches that were – as always – put in a semi-circle. I was seated in a comfortable large chair that made me look like the psychologist – expert in relationship counseling – I am.

 

I asked the couple on my immediate left to start off: a nerdy looking young man with a stunning blond wife. He must have made his fortune in the IT-business to have landed her.

“Hi everyone, my name is Charles, but everyone calls me Chuck. So, we're here because my wifey here,” he points to the hot blonde, “thinks it's a good idea for us to learn more about having awesome sex.”

Chucks wife clearly was not happy with this introduction. She looked at him as if she wanted to cut his tongue out with a knife. Then she seemed to regain herself and plastered on a smile that toothpaste salesmen would die for. “My name is Sarah. I go by many other names, but if I told you those, I would have to kill you.”

The rest of the group started chuckling a bit after Sarah's introduction, but she seemed to be deadly serious. Creepy. I already guessed there had to be something not quite right with her to stay with a guy that called her 'my wifey'. She seemed to send rays of ice to anyone she looked at. I didn't really feel their connection yet.

The guy – the very hot guy – sitting to my right with his redheaded wife, put up his hand. I looked at him questioningly. “Yes?”

“I just wanted to say we're also here to learn about awesome sex. Heterosexual sex that is, between husband and wife. Which we are. So, just wanted to say that. Please go on.”

 

And that I did. The couple occupying the middle couch was slightly older than the others. The grumpy man with a beard had his arm around the shoulders of a beautiful dark haired woman. Although they were sitting very close together, I got the impression the woman wasn't very comfortable with the situation. A cane was laying on the floor. I noticed his slight limp when they came in. Once he started to speak his face lit up. Quite handsome actually.

“Hello fellow psychobabble victims. My name is Gregory, but people call me House. This lovely lady here,” he gave his wife's shoulder a good squeeze, “is my wife. I call her bosslady, Cuddy or sugarlips. Hot eh?” He wiggled his eyebrows as he openly looked down into her cleavage.

When she noticed, she covered op her chest with one hand, and waved a small wave with the other. “Hi, my name is Lisa. Don't mind this big stupid oaf sitting next to me. I won't make any excuses for his sexist behavior. I'm afraid you'll just have to get used to it.”

This time the red-headed woman to my right raised her hand. I nodded my head towards her, indicating she could speak.

“I was just wondering, since I am in a secure and healthy heterosexual relationship with my lovely husband and all, where did you buy your bra? Your breasts pop out all lovely and perky above that top and-” Her husband elbowed her in the side.

“She just wishes she had boobs like yours to seduce me with,” the hot guy said with a grin. He then looked at the redhead with a condemning look, contradicting his light tone of voice. He whispered something in her ear, after which she averted her eyes from Lisa, started fidgeting with her shirt and kept her eyes firmly directed at her husband's crotch.

 

That left me with them – the last couple – to introduce themselves.

They looked at each other hesitantly, and then started off simultaneously “Hi, I'm-.” The woman then seemed to realize something, and she arched her eyebrows up high.

“Ah yes, caveman rules dictate the man to go first. Take it away, honey,” she said with a super sweet smile.

He then actually growled at her. Guess she wasn't all that far off with the caveman remark.

“So, I'm Dean. This is my wife Charlie, whom I'm happily married to. People call me all kinds of artists names, because I'm really into classic rock. My favorite is Jimmy Page. What does that say about me, you ask? I'm a real tough guy, but I also enjoy sunsets and long walks on the beach. Eh, frisky wife of mine?”

His wife rolls her eyes. “Yes, the adoring wife, that would be me. Hi, all. Charlie, aka Queen of Moondoor. Don't ask. By the by, anyone here having homicidal tendencies?”

 

Looking around the group once more, I realized that I had my work cut out for me. It was going to be a hard week.


End file.
